You’re More Than Just A “Stepmom”

Jun 8, 2011 by Peggy Nolan

Three business related books to help you grow other aspects of your life! Reviewed by Jessica Withers

We are none of us just stepmoms. We have more than one dimension to our lives and sometimes our focus necessarily shifts to one of those other areas. This has been the case for me for several months—instead of focusing on my stepfamily, I’ve been thinking a lot about my career. The place I work is being restructured and my position has been deemed “ vulnerable”; while I enjoy what I do, I believe I have grown beyond it. I really want to start my own business, but it isn’t practical; we need my income and I need my benefits. I have been using my information-gathering skills to research entrepreneurship and career development. Perhaps I can have my cake and eat it too!

Some of the books I have read have been fusty and boring with some interesting bits scattered throughout. A few have been full of good information but scholarly and dry. Three of them really stand out to me as ones to share with other stepmoms: Robin Fisher Roffer’s Make a Name for Yourself: Eight Steps Every Woman Needs to Create a Personal Brand Strategy for Success, Sun Tzu for Women: The Art of War for Winning in Business by Becky Sheetz-Runkle, and The Boss of You: Everything A Woman Needs to Know to Start, Run, and Maintain Her Own Businessby Lauren Bacon and Emira Mears.

As I look at my career and where I would like to go, the idea of branding myself has been a good one for me to internalize. When I first started reading Make a Name for Yourself I thought it was for a woman bringing in an income way above my five-digit salary. Luckily, I kept reading and realized I was wrong. Roffer’s steps for identifying your core values, your objectives, and your mission statement, and rolling them into your own, unique brand have helped me center myself during this tumultuous time at work. Even if I never used my brand in conversations or on my résumé (Jessica: Information and Ideas), it has become part of my identity and helps me identify which career steps are right for me.

For those stepmoms who enjoy martial arts, I can recommend Sun Tzu for Women. Using principles from the classic Art of War and from her experience in martial arts, Sheetz-Runkle challenges women to learn battlefield techniques for the advancement of their careers. My favorite part is the discussion about excellence. Sun Tzu explains that battle is like a circle, you cannot always be at your peak of excellence or you will wear yourself out. You will need to use your “normal force” for your everyday experiences and save your “extraordinary force” for when you need it, then cycle back to “normal force” to rebuild your strength. The way Sheetz-Runkle explained this for the non-battlefield arena really spoke to me; I started to think about what strengths I bring to my work and home life everyday and what strengths I can use when a situation calls for me to be extraordinary.

Those “fusty and boring” books I mentioned above? They tended to be start-your-own-business books, which was disappointing because I had imagined those to be inspiring. I recently found The Boss of You: Everything a Woman Needs to Know to Start, Run, and Maintain Her Own Business and I am thrilled with that piece of serendipity! Bacon and Mears write in a very approachable style; they discuss all the same topics as the other books (finances, marketing, licenses, business plans, public relations, etc) but with such panache that the end result is enjoyable will still being informative. Any other entrepreneurial-minded stepmoms out there should read this book, sign up for the authors’ blog, and like The Boss of You on Facebook! Be ready to be inspired!

There you have them—three great reads on identity, career development, and small business. While we have connected because we are stepmoms, remember that you have plenty of other facets to your life. Make sure you explore those areas, too; increase your world, don’t shrink it.

About Jessica Withers

Jessica has been in a stepmother role to 3 children for almost 2 years.  She has recently started a Stepmom Support Group for stepmoms in Tompkin’s County.  She has worked in public and academic libraries for over nineteen years.

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