When Hit With Negative…Counter With Positive
Most of you know I’m a recommend black belt in Thai Kickboxing and a certified yoga teacher (and if you don’t know, now you do). I apply what I learn in the dojo and in my yoga studies to the rest of my life, including my role as a stepmom.
Today, I’m sharing the wise advice and teaching I received last night in Thai Kickboxing.
When hit with Negative -
Counter with Positive!
Training in the Martial Arts conditions and prepares us to defend against dangerous people and threatening situations. One of the greatest dangers we face everyday…isn’t so much a physical threat. More common is the risk of being harmed by negative comments, attitudes or emotions.
Applying the Yin-Yang approach to defending against negative forces would tell us to always be ready to counter with positives.
Apply this to a physical assault, one defense is the exact opposite of your opponent.
- If they attack in a straight line, you may defend in a circular direction.
- If they strike high, you may defend against the attack and counter low.
When hit with negative…counter with positive, is similar. Try applying it to daily life where we may be attacked verbally or assaulted emotionally.
- If someone makes a negative comment, you redirect them with a positive comment.
- If someone shares a negative rumor, you ignore it and share something positive.
Maybe someone you know is very negative and reactive, your goal would be to stay calm, positive and proactive.
Self-Defense is about defending yourself and your loved ones, not about harming the attacker. The same is true here…Think of the same concept in dealing with negative people or situations.
The goal is to avoid harm…not cause it. Practice this theory and you’ll stay calm and increase your ability to maintain a positive outlook and attitude toward everything and everybody.
Another goal is to create your own peace and poise of mind. When you have peace and poise of mind, you have the ability to remain under control of your emotions and your behavior regardless of the circumstances. Benefits to cultivating peace and poise of mind include:
- Stress relief
- Correct and clear judgement
- You Become a Source of Inspiration
- Excellent Peak Performer
- Overall Well-Being
Toolbox Challenge: Think of someone you know that has a tendency to be negative. Practice in advance ways you may be able to counter their negatives with positives. Practice cultivating peace and poise of mind. The one that is the most committed emotionally usually has the greatest impact.
Special thanks to Tim Barchard’s Professional Martial Arts Academy for inspiring me today. I hope this inspires you, too!
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What a great post! This goes right along with what I am practicing currently in my life, so thanks!
.-= The Good Witch´s last blog ..Boundaries crossed (once again!) =-.
Oh Peggy, we all want to have a great life and we all feel that we are being stopped by circumstances, nasty ex partners, nasty stepkids, nasty boss. Of course things happen but this shows we are NOT victims, we can do something to have a great life regardless what is dished up to us. Isn’t it great to know that there are skills we can develop to become a victor rather than a victim, to become someone who matters rather than a martyr.
Thanks Peggy for keeping reminding all of us, it is up to us how our life pans out. xox Wilma
.-= Wilma Ham´s last blog ..Does the way you talk destruct or create? =-.
Hi Wilma,
I am so with you on becoming a victor rather than a victim and a martyr! We can make things happen – in our own life and in the lives of those we love – but first we must turn poison into medicine. Turn negatives into positives. Find the pony in the $hit pile! xxxooo Peggy
You are so welcome Good Witch! Thanks for stopping by!
I have been following these posts and reading comments for some time now. Very relieved that there are others out there having problems very similar to mine. I have a question though in relation to this post….If you receive a neg comment from your step child and respons with pos comment; what do you do when they come back with something even worse or they call you a liar or how about a complainer?
Hi Dawn,
I personally won’t engage with a child who’s egging me on and wanting to press buttons or get my knickers in bunch. If the child is young, you might hear “you’re not my mommy.” Smile and in a caring manner state the obvious, “you’re right sweetie, I’m not.” Where’s the child going to go after that? If the child is older and insists on being negative and disrespectful, time to use the fabulous strategy Mary Kelly-Williams wrote about recently – Boundaries Connect – when my own teenage stepson is being negative and disrespectful, I disengage with him and simply send him to his room until he decides to change his attitude. As for the complainer, I would need to know what the complaint is first. Sometimes, there’s an underlying issue that’s not being verbalized in the complaint – Heather writes about a very important underlying issue that her step daughter was masking with all kinds of complaints. You can read about it at http://cafesmom.com – just go to her blog. Pretty powerful.
Thank you Peggy for those tips and I will check out Heather’s blog. I have been trying the Boundaries Connect; however, my husband doesn’t agree with it. I am still working on it.
Hi Dawn,
I wish you great success with Boundaries Connect…what does your husband disagree with? (If you don’t mind me asking!)