Stepcoupling: Creating and Sustaining a Strong Marriage in Today’s Blended Family
A Book Review By Guest Blogger Southern Belle
If I could mail every new stepmom a care package, I would enclose a box of Kleenex for those first few difficult days, a new tube of pretty posy pink lip gloss to give her spirits a lift, some Dove chocolates (need I say more- it’s chocolate), and a copy of Stepcoupling
I picked up Stepcoupling
The book is broke into seven sections plus a bonus section of one couple’s look back.
Some well covered subjects were expectations, boundaries, roles, opposing styles and values.
How lovely it was to pick up a book for remarrieds that focuses not on the new family, not on the little darlings, but right at the heart- the stepcouple. The message is reinforced throughout the book again and again, that what matters most is the couple and to keep your focus on your marriage. Or as my Mama would say “Keep outsiders outside your marriage”.
For me, the chapter entitled “Embracing Values: Your Own and Your Partner’s” was the best.
“What threatens your relationship isn’t your positions on the priority line; it’s how you handle the gap between them.” Stepcoupling
Inspiring words, indeed. I have long read books on how we, as a remarried couple must agree on childrearing. To be given permission to think individually was a gift; to be given permission to disagree with love and success, priceless. You see, my husband and I dearly love our children and both share the same goal of raising them to their fullest potential and give them the best start to life we can. But our ways of getting to that goal sometimes differ, if not most times.
After reading Stepcoupling
Every stepmom should have a copy of Stepcoupling
Southern Belle
Leave a comment and you could win a free copy of StepCoupling! I will be selecting one lucky Stepmom on August 5th!
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I cannot wait to pick up a copy of this book! My husband and I have a great working relationship when it comes to his kids and his ex-wife. We do not always agree and that’s ok! We are able to talk it out and come to a compromise that is satisfactory for both of us. We both feel that the relationship between husband and wife has to be the primary one in a stepfamily situation. Otherwise, neither is getting what they need from the marriage and often times, the marriage fails.
Can’t wait to read this book!
I have looked at this book a time or two. I always opted for the books about being a better step mom or having a better relationship with my step-daughters mother. I always felt, that our marriage was strong, so there was no need to focus on US. The only issues we have were about things outside of our marriage, usually BM.
I never thought how with what would be considered our new family – we do believe and act that our marriage comes first, then the kids. If the marriage isn’t happy and successfull our kids won’t be. Yet we’ve failed to take that same approach with the old family. We focus on what other people do and say, instead of what WE are doing and saying – to others and more importantly each other.
Belle – the fact that you said you have a wonderful marriage inspires me to get this book. To realize that just because things are good or great we can still enhance and improve our marriage.
Ladies – my simple equation:
Happy Marriage = Happy Kids
This book is also on MY list (and no, I’m not drawing my own name to win it
My DH and I have total opposite views on the stepfamily dynamic, despite both being part of stepfamilies growing up (my parents were each stepparents to one another’s kids (my older siblings) and DH had a stepmom). Sounds like this book can really help us get on track and discover what the heart of the matter is for each of us, and how best to communicate our feelings, needs, and wants to one another.
Thank you, Belle, for bringing this book to our attention!
Wow sounds like a great read!! I can’t wait to read it. Reading for me is such a huge help, it makes me feel understood and less crazy!!
Focusing on the couple I think is a huge factor and often looked over in so many of these books. Great to hear a new perspective! thanks for the advice
Belle, thanks for letting us know what a great resource this book is. I’m putting it on hold at the library…maybe my free copy will come in the mail from Peggy before the library finds it!
I’m off to buy two copies of this book – one for me and one for a lucky sister stepmom!
Keep the comments coming – Belle did a fabulous job with this review!
Belle,
I looked for the book at Barnes and Noble but they were out. I am going to order it off the internet. I have wanted to read it from the time you told me about it. My marriage I feel is also stong with the only week area of his kids and ex. So I really can’t wait to get it!!
Great Review Belle!!
Wow! I enjoyed this review and I now know I NEED to go and get this book!!!
DH and I agree on 95 % of our parenting issues, but I would love to read ways to strengthen what we already have and to learn new and better techniques!
Thank you, Southern Belle!
bunny
I NEED this book. Ive recently married and I’m now a stepmom. I need something to inspire me and help me get through the tough days Im 19 with 2 stepchildren(2&4)& one of my own(8mths). Its hard at times but I’m striving so hard to do my best. I would absolutly love to read this book It would be a blessing to recieve it.
Thanks, Megan
Hi Megan and welcome to the Toolbox.
19, married with two stepkids and one of your own…WOW! That’s a lot to absorb and take in. StepCoupling is a GREAT book, as is The Remarried Couples Checkup. I encourage you to add both books to your Toolbox!
Peggy
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