Taking Back My Power For My Health
Most of you already know my guest blogger, Erin Erickson. She’s my radio show partner in crime the first and third Monday of every month! Today, she’s sharing just one aspect of how she reclaimed herself and took back her power.
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I’ve never been what I would call a “foodie.” I have a few favorite foods but I’ve never the kind of girl that needed a quick bite when I was nervous or scared. I have, however, always been “thick.” Except for a stint 10 years ago when I starved myself into a size 8, I’ve always had extra weight hanging on to my stomach. I’ve tried everything to get rid of my excess baggage, but nothing seemed to work.
Two years ago, I had successfully proportioned my food and exercised enough to take off 20 pounds. I was working hard toward my goal weight when two incredibly huge things happened a week apart from each other: my stepdaughter (who was 12 at the time) was admitted to the hospital for anorexia and my husband (her father) was told to keep his job, he’d need to move across the country and begin working 2,000 miles away from us.
I remember the week this happened almost like it was yesterday. I’d just started taking an anti-depressant and was the one person not crying when we checked our 12 year old into her new inpatient recovery room. A week later, I dropped my husband off at the airport.
When my stepdaughter came home from the hospital, she also came with a list of instructions on what she could and couldn’t eat. No more diet cola, sugar-free foods, low calorie or low-fat labeled things in the house. She was on a full-fat diet. Did I mention she had to have choices, too? Each house had to have in it at least 2 gallons of ice cream as well as whatever cookies or chips sounded good that week.
During the recovery process, my doctor would tell me I needed to lose weight. I told her it was difficult to do that when you have an anorexic in the house but that I’d try. She insisted I stick to a diet that was low in sugar and low in cholesterol and that I stock my house with low-cal; low-sugar foods. When my doctor send the list of “eat this; not that” to the house, I emailed my stepdaughter’s nutritionist and asked if it was okay for me to have these things in the house.
The response was something along the lines of “No. You’ll delay your stepdaughter’s recovery.”
Crap.
Fast forward 18 months. My stepdaughter is now 14 and is on her way to being her ideal weight. My husband is still working thousands of miles away and I have gained 45 pounds.
I know I’ve gained 45 pounds because my husband told me he isn’t as attracted to me as he used to be and oh-by-the-way why can’t I work harder on trying to lose weight? Those words were harsh and I’m still trying to forgive him; however, they did propel me to really take a look at my life for the past 18 months.
My mom, who is a nurse, reminded me of something I’d completely forgotten: I have PCOS. Essentially this syndrome makes it difficult for my body to regulate insulin which in turn makes it harder for me to metabolize food. Now mix in cortisol (a stress hormone) which I’d been producing a lot of and which also messes with your metabolism and you’ve got a giant hormonal cluster f**k. I was a ticking time bomb ready to keel over if I didn’t change something.
As a stepmom advocate, I’m often advising women to take their power back. Do whatever is necessary to put yourself first. I was dispensing the advice without taking it myself. It became a lot clearer to me that I needed to change a few things so I could take my power back:
- First of all, I had to stop letting my stepdaughter’s eating disorder be my eating disorder. She may need cookies and ice cream, but she doesn’t need them when she’s not here. I pick those items up when she’s going to be at the house on the weekend.
- I fill my cabinets with sugar-free and 100-calorie items so that it’s the only thing I can reach for when I’m hungry.
- I pushed for my husband and his ex-wife to take full responsibility for the kids’ care. I will no longer allow anyone to treat me or my home like it’s the after-school daycare center (which usually meant there needed to be fattening after-school snacks).
- I workout no matter who is home or not home. I get to see my husband for about 36 hours every other weekend. I miss him, but my health is the most important thing to me right now. I will spend 2 hours away from the family if it means I’m getting a good workout in.
It feels good to be taking better care of myself. Mentally, I feel stronger that I’m putting myself first. Physically, I can see changes on the scale and in my energy levels. Even if I have to be on a low-fat/low-sugar diet for the rest of my life, I’ll be happier because I took the power back and did this for myself.
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Bravo Erin and WELL DONE! To our sister stepmoms, what can you do today to reclaim your power and take care of you?
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As a wardrobe consultant, many of my clients are in similar situations. They’ve gained weight and are very unhappy with the way they look. Our bodies change over time and some of us will never be a size 8! Sometimes it’s just the way we’re built or the way our metabolism functions. My advice is to stay healthy—eat well, exercise, and take GOOD care of yourself no matter what your size is. And of course, my focus is on clothes. I truly believe that women of all sizes can look gorgeous. It’s a matter of knowing what styles and colors are flattering.
So many women put off buying themselves clothes because they’re “waiting” to lose 15 pounds –but guess what? That may not ever happen, or it may take longer than expected! Dress your best NOW! Not only will you look & feel great, but it will motivate you to eat less & exercise. When you’re feeling frumpy, you’re more apt to go after the Oreos!
Dear Susan – thank you so much for this comment! It is much needed to hear other voices suggesting, recommending, and encouraging women to put themselves on their priority list!! Well said my friend!!