In the unique family dynamic that I find myself in, it is important to have boundaries. Mine aren’t brick walls, electric fences, or steel baricades. But they are there, they do exist.
In my own experience, where Richard’s ex-wife and I get along, cooperate, have gone out for drinks, shopped for grand baby clothes together, celebrated [...]
Archive of posts tagged ex-wife
Boundaries
The Stepmom Mirror
The next time you have a judgmental thought that effects you, please look within to see why it is bothering you so much. You may be surprised at what you learn. ~ Nadia at Happy Lotus
How often have you had a judgmental thought about your husband’s ex-wife that has really effected you? You felt angry [...]
An Invitation To Change
So much of what goes on in the heart of a stepmom is between our own two ears. Sometimes, I just wish I could wave my Princess Wand that Tess Marshall sent me over all my sister stepmoms so that you, too, could realize and know a few truths that I’ve discovered.
90% of what [...]
Part V: The Grand Illusion
Stumbling Awake
Sometimes, stumbling awake can be a painful, but necessary, experience. My journey as a step mom often flies in the face of my journey as a mom. Having a central role in my remarried family dynamic has been illuminating, frustrating, wonderful, perplexing, strange, odd, weird, and most of the time, down right fantabulous. I love my husband, I [...]
Part IV: The Stepmom's Self-Deception
The Self-Betrayal Decision Tree
An act contrary to what you feel you should for another is called Self-Betrayal. ~ The Arbinger Institute
Using the example I described in Part III of The Stepmom’s Self-Deception, I’m going to share with you the Arbinger Institute’s self-betrayal decision tree.
When I received the email from The Ex-Wife’s step brother, my intial [...]
Keeping Your Character Intact
“To keep your character intact you cannot stoop to filthy acts. It makes it easier to stoop the next time.”
~ Katherine Hepburn
How often have you heard, “character is who you are when no one is watching?” If I’ve heard it once, I’ve heard at least half a million times…it’s something I even say to myself…especially [...]
Wear Your Big Girl Panties
Being a mom is hard. Being a step mom is even harder. Sometimes, and you can’t plan for this because you don’t know when it’s going to happen, your feelings about being a step mom or not being the “first wife” will creep up on you…or in my case sting me like a bee that leaves [...]
My Husband's Nothing Box
Dear Richard,
I know you might read this and you know I can’t not write about the note you wrote to yourself so you’d remember Junior had a dentist appointment on Saturday.
I love you,
The Nag
The Nag
The Nag is the person I never want to be. She’s ugly, haggard, and has snaggly teeth. She’s a Harpy and the last thing I [...]
Accepting What IS
Experiment. Experience.
What do these two words have in common?
I tossed and turned last night as I mulled these two words over and over in my head – and questioned, how do they function together inside my experience as a step mom?
Experiment – what exactly am I testing? What is the control and what is the [...]
