Bonus Mom and “Book” of the Month for July
Introducing the one and only Brenda Ockun! Publisher of the only online magazine for stepmoms by a stepmom, StepMom.
Brenda and I have teamed up to offer a FREE 2 month subscription to THREE lucky stepmoms who answer three questions at the end of this review!
Ladies, we’re all in this crazy but wonderful stepmom world together! And it’s time to dispel the myth of the Wicked Evil Step Mother and create a new one.
With the help of published authors, Jacqueline Fletcher, Wednesday Martin, Izzy Rose, Jennifer Newcomb Marine and Carol Marine, and the one and only Brenda Ockun, we are creating a new social and cultural view of stepmoms!
Like us, Brenda is a stepmom and her magazine StepMom is in the front lines battling the age old misconceptions, deceptions, and lies about “the other mother.”
Each month, StepMom is filled with tips, tools, legal advice, book reviews, book excerpts, personal stories, and yummy recipes. Contributing writers include Blended Family Coach, Emily Bouchard, MSSW and director of Blended Families, Laura Badain, an attorney specializing in marital and family law, Katherine Maguid, a freelance writer and stepmom of two, Peggy Nolan (that would be me), freelance writer and creator of The Stepmom’s Tool Box, Elizabeth Guerra, personal chef and stepmom, and many more!
Brenda and I have teamed up to offer a FREE 2 month subscription to THREE lucky stepmoms who answer three questions at the end of this review!
ToolBoxGirl’s Top Ten Reasons Why YOU Should Subscribe to StepMom
Reason #10. The contributing writers! Stop guessing about child support or custody – ask Laura Badain!
Reason #9. Your marriage deserves every resource you can get your fingertips on and this is a no brainer!
Reason #8. Because being a stepmom is the hardest job on the planet and this magazine provides stepmoms valuable information and Inspiration!
Reason #7. With your subscription, you get access to an exclusive and private forum! How cool is that?
Reason #6. Tips to deal with the baggage that remarriage brings – ex-wives, kids, ex-inlaws, debt, etc!
Reason #5. Book excerpts and interviews with our favorite stepmom authors!
Reason #4. StepMom Magazine in an on-line publication. Print and carry it – or read it anytime you log on to your computer!
Reason #3. You’ll meet other strong, hip, smart women in our support group forum.
Reason #2. For the cost of a Starbucks Latte you will receive new articles and information every month!
REASON #1. Where else are you going to find the rest of my article, “Life – Expectations = Happiness?
Want to win a FREE 2 month subscription? Comment on this review and answer these three questions today (you never know…your response could end up in StepMom!)
- What is your biggest challenge as a stepmom?
- What is your greatest joy in being a stepmom?
- What advice do you have for new stepmoms?
I will be sending Brenda three randomly selected names and she will contact the winners. Please submit your comments and responses by Wednesday 8PM EST July 8, 2009!
1. My biggest challenge in being a stepmom has been defining that role. What does it mean to be a stepmom? What do I want to offer to my stepchild? How much do I want to be involved and when do I need to step back? Finding that delicate balance of being an involved, patient, loving and kind stepmom while still having the energy to take care of myself has been my top struggle.
2. My greatest joy has come in the freedom of letting go. Once I understood that I couldn’t control everything and the world would not come to an end if I stopped trying, I became a much happier person. Letting go of control opened up the opportunities to bond with my stepchild and form a working, supportive relationship with her bio-mom.
3. My advice for new stepmoms is to find resources such as books, forums, and blogs where you can speak openly and honestly about your challenges as you work toward a harmonious blended family life. Take care of yourself and always validate your feelings, good or bad.
1. My biggest challenge in being a stepmom is letting go of jealousies and figuring out my place. I don’t have any biological children of my own yet, so I sometimes feel that little green monster knowing that I don’t have that connection with my husband, and I know that as much as my stepchildren love me – I’m not ‘mom’ and never will be.
2. My greatest joy in being a stepmom is watching these 2 beautiful children grow and change knowing that I am a part their development.
3. My advice for stepmoms is to take your time developing a relationship with your stepkids. Love doesn’t grow overnight…You can’t force it, and you can’t force the kids to love you (or even like you) right away.
My biggest challenge is not taking everything personally and remembering that not everything said is meant as critism toward me.
My greatest joy is knowing that with me in his life, my stepson will at least have one “real” mom, who considers him first.
My advice: Take care of yourself, so that you can better take care of your loved ones.
Teresa,
Stepping in, stepping out, stepping up, stepping back…I still struggle with that challenge when new territory with Junior gets covered! And letting go…when the weight of the world suddenly disappears when we realize that we don’t have to do everything and we can’t!
xxoo
Hi Amy,
Figuring out my place was a big challenge for me, too! I love your advice for new stepmoms!
xxoo
Adina,
Thanks for commenting! “Don’t take things personnally” is one of DM Ruiz’ Four Agreements in his book by the same name. Just realizing that not everything is about me keeps me out of the drama that can swirl around the four corners of my house!
xxoo
Ok, now that I know it’s a challenge how do I actually not do it?
It does take practice…if you’re a reader, I’d recommend getting your hands on The Four Agreements by DM Ruiz.
[...] HERE [...]
1. My biggest challenge as a stepmom is not letting the neverending drama with a hate-filled bm overrun my life…especially since sometimes I feel like I have a more maternal instinct toward “our” children than she does… I’ve learned to step back, let go and not give her so much space in my head (but it’s an evolving process for sure!).
2. My biggest joy is interacting with my bonus kids – they bring me so much more happiness than I ever imagined. They include me in so many things and have showed me an acceptance into their lives that I feared was never going to be possible (with the difficult divorce situation).
3. Take your time figuring out where you belong and realize that you have as much say in the new family unit as anyone else. Also, seek support to realize that you are NOT alone!! And lastly, as someone mentioned above already – don’t take things personally (this was a difficult one for me- but living it has made my life much more peaceful).
Thanks!
[...] do have to do something…answer the three questions at the end of my REVIEW. That’s it! I’ll be selecting three winners Wednesday, July [...]
[...] July's Bonus Mom and Book of the Month! [...]