Self Care for Step Moms

After hearing from several step moms, I thought another post on Self-Care was in order.  Why?  Because my step mom sisters are losing themselves in their marriages.  They are losing themselves by taking care of everyone else but themselves.

Whether they are full time step moms, 50/50 or EOW step moms.  It doesn’t matter.  My sisters aren’t putting themselves on their priority list.  They are spending their time being the end all to be all to people who may not have their best interest at heart…husbands, step kids, their own kids.

My best friend, while reading my blog, wrote this to me in an email:

For the first thirty-six years of my life, I merely existed in other people’s realities.  I was so busy trying to be the best mother, the best wife, the best daughter, the best sister… I always knew that my idea of “best” and theirs were residing at opposite ends of the spectrum, but after years of practice, I was a pro at rationalizing away almost everything I wanted.

My best friend is not a step mom, but she is no different than those of us who have let ourselves take a back seat to everyone else.  When this happens, the life we dreamed of goes poof and somehow we end up in our 40’s asking ourselves, “what happened?  where did my life go?”

I know…because like my best friend, I spent the better part of my 20’s and 30’s trying to be the best to everyone but me.  I still ended up divorced.  I still ended up getting laid off.  I still ended up with breast cancer…and if you are reading this, no one should have a life threatening illness dope slap them upside the head!  Breast cancer made me realize that life really is too short to cater to everyone else! 

A little over five years ago, I had my coming to Jesus meeting.  I made the determination to make decisions and choices that were right for me.  And guess what?  No one suffered because I decided to go on vacation.  No one died because I decided to get my nails done every two weeks.  No one went hungry because I took up yoga and Thai kickboxing.  No one fell apart when I decided to turn MY life in another direction.

In fact, my course alteration led me to the love of my life and a life I wouldn’t have if I hadn’t gotten real with myself and figured out what I really, really wanted.

Today you can change you life…if you want to.  Today you can stop rationalizing away everything you ever wanted…if you want to.

Your life is Your choice!