Re-Train Your Stepmom Brain!

Aug 16, 2010 by Peggy Nolan

This is a re-post from my original article posted in August 2009. With so many new women joining the ranks of stepmomdom, I thought we could all use a little nudge to re-train our brains! xo Peggy

 

Our minds, our attitudes can change everything ~ Daisuku Ikeda

As a culture and as a society we have been programmed for hundreds of years to believe that Stepmothers are dark, nasty, evil women. (Wednesday Martin has done a phenomenal job researching and writing about the Stepmother Myth so I don’t have to reinvent the wheel here. If you haven’t read Stepmonsteror her blog, I strongly encourage you to do so!)

The operative word is PROGRAMMED. The Wicked Evil Stepmother Myth has been programmed into our collective pysche and into our own subconscious mind.

Each night before bed, I’ve been reading my way through Dr. Bruce Lipton’s The Biology of Belief: Unleashing the Power of Consciousness, Matter, & Miracles and last night, I came across something so profound that I just had to share with my sister stepmoms.

Lipton writes,

“The brain’s ability to learn perceptions is so advanced that we can acquire perceptions indirectly through teachers. Once we accept the perceptions of others as *truths* their perceptions become hardwired into our brains, becoming our *truths*. What if your teacher’s perceptions are inaccurate? Programmed misconceptions in our subconscious mind are not “monitored” and will habitually engage us in inappropriate and limiting beliefs.”

Applying this to the programmed Wicked Evil Stepmother Myth:

1. The Wicked Evil Stepmother Myth is programmed into our subconscious mind.
2. We’ve acquired most of the Wicked Evil Stepmother perception from teachers (parents, other adults, media, Disney, Fairytales, etc).
3. We’ve accepted their perceptions as truth and now those acquired perceptions are hardwired in our brains, which are now our truths.
4. The perception of the Wicked Evil Stepmother is inaccurate.
5. This programmed misconception, which resides in our subconscious mind and is not monitored, is habitually engaging us in inappropriate and limiting behaviors.

Just like not all stepmoms are wicked and evil, not all bio-moms are crazy, self-absorbed, wing-nuts. Think about it, if you believe the bio-mom in your life is engaged in inappropriate and limiting belief behaviors – so are you. And so am I.

If the mom and stepmom are both engaged in inappropriate and limiting belief behaviors, what’s the answer?

My own answer: Mind Your Mind

Until last night, “mind your mind” was something that I sort of “got.” I know that my thoughts become things – and if I’m thinking crap then I’m manifesting crap in my life. And then I read this from Dr. Lipton:

“The Self-Conscious Mind is extremely powerful. It observes any programmed behavior we are engaged in, it evaluates the behavior, and it can consciously decide to change the program. We can actively CHOOSE how to respond to most environment signals and whether we want to respond at all. The conscious mind’s capacity to override the subconscious mind’s pre-prgrammed behaviors is the foundation of FREE WILL.”

That just blows me away.

Applying this to the programmed beliefs we have:

1. Your self-conscious is very powerful
2. You have the ability to observe any programmed behavior you are engaged in
3. You can assess and evaluate your programmed behavior
4. You can consciously decide to CHANGE THE PROGRAM

If the ex-wife does something to make your eyes cross, YOU can actively choose how to respond to her signal and whether you want to respond at all! You can over-ride your subconscious mind’s pre-prgrammed behaviors.

How awesome is that?

Since the Ex-Wife is apt to see you as the pre-programmed Wicked Evil Stepmother she also has the ability to over-ride her programming at any time.

I believe it’s time to make a new tape, a new myth for the collective pysche.  

What do you think?