It’s Not What You Say, It’s How You Say It

Feb 10, 2010 by Peggy Nolan

Thanks to a wonderful sister stepmom, I found this fabulous article on communication, written by Bryan Stipe.  Here’s an excerpt and a link to read the full article!  (Trust me, you want to read the full article!)

Why Can’t He Hear What You’re Saying?

Your lips are moving. Sounds are coming out, and you swear you’re speaking English. But he’s Just. Not. Getting it. What to do? Read on for insight into why men misinterpret what women say — and how you can make yourself heard.

It was a novice mistake, I admit — the kind of dumb thing you do two months into a relationship, not four years. My wife and I were having dinner with friends and I was telling a story about how her brother crashed his car. Yes, maybe I hyperbolized a little bit, played it for laughs at his expense. So when Kristen shot me her death-ray look across the table — the one that means: You have committed some gaffe, said something offensive, revealed something private, etc., and should cease and desist — I ceased and desisted.

But afterward, on the car ride home, she was still mad. “I mean, at this point you shouldn’t even apologize,” she said. So I didn’t apologize. I said I understood. I held her hand a little in the car, and when we got home I made a bowl of ice cream and watched Big Love. Later, Kristen came into the den, all dressed for bed, and stood silently watching Bill Paxton and wife number two in flagrante. “Well,” she finally snapped, “you could have at least apologized!” When I protested that she’d told me I shouldn’t apologize, she said, “It would have been a good place to start.”

READ MORE (because you really want to!!)