Finding the Merry in Christmas
(or the Happy in Chanakuah)
In recent years, Christmas has been a chore for me to muster through. To pull myself up by my bootstraps, plaster a smile on my face, and march forward. Until Richard re-appeared in my life, I voted for skipping Christmas all together.
Why?
In 2002 I did the twisted tango as I disentangled myself from my first husband. The last Christmas we spent together was nothing but a hotbed of lies, lies and damn lies. I officially kicked him out January 5, 2003 and filed for divorce the same day.
One year later I went for my baseline mammogram on December 9, 2003. There was enough suscipion in my left breast to warrant 2 more enlarged x-rays. The next day, my doctor called me to tell me she was sending me to a breast specialist. The next call came from the radiology department confirming my breast biopsy for December 31, 2003. What? I hadn’t even seen the specialist yet! Three days before Christmas the breast specialist is showing me the image from my mammogram. I could see the large microcalcified cluster of cells. Only the biopsy would confirm if those cells were cancerous or not.
On January 5, 2004, the call that no woman wants to hear came. I had cancer.
2002 and 2003 were not very Merry at all. In fact, both years have had a lasting affect on me and how I would just rather hop on a plane, forget about Christmas, and go sip a fruity umbrellie drink on some white sandy beach in the Carribbean.
But this year is different. The urge to get outta dodge lasted less than twenty-four hours. A new record for me. Why is it so different?
In one word: richardjessicarichiekellychristinakatiechristopherandolivia. In a second word: jondaveandnoel In a third word: edthewonderdog
Wednesday night we lugged the tree and all the decorations up from the basement. I made my kick ass lasagna and we hosted a big family dinner, followed by the kids (ok, the adult kids) decorating the tree. Joining us were my step kids’ aunt and their grammie (for those of you keeping score that would be Richard’s ex-wife’s mom and sister) And of course, my grand daughter, Olivia, who is now approaching six months old. To watch her as her eyes got big and wide when Richard plugged in the lights…WOW!
Tonight, I will finish decorating with my oldest daughter. I saved her ornaments and her sister’s. We’ll have a glass of wine, turn on the Christmas tunes, and hang up the stockings and the rest of the ornaments. There’s a pink dinosaur that’s hers and hers alone to hang…twenty-two years ago, my mom gave it to her when she became a big sister…so that she could feel special when the rest of Christmas revolved around her little sister.
Along with assorted significant others, five of our combined six kids and our first grand baby will be home this year to celebrate. And the one kiddo that’s missing is on the mountain in Vail…your Christmas box will arrive with Santa sweetie!
I found my Merry in Christmas.
What about you? What makes your Christmas Merry or your Chanakah Happy?
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I am Merry reading your posts and how you interpret “family”.
Awesome! This is such a blessing to read, and celebrate.
Thanks Angelia!
Love the whole Christmas atmosphere, the smiles, goodwill and lots of yummy food. I wanted to comment on the post above this too but the comments are closed? I wanted to say how much I love the chapter titles.
Hi DJ – you need to follow the link to the page where the full review is posted. The discussion is going on there!
Hi Peggy, I fell upon your blog randomly and I just wanted to let you know that I’ve really enjoyed visiting your site again and again (your humor makes my day). Shamefully, I was a terrible stepmother (okay, more like I could’ve been better). Nevertheless, I am at fault for allowing my resentment towards my cheating, soon-to-be ex-husband to project on my stepson, and the fact that my stepson’s mother and I didn’t get along either only added to the hostility. It’s a long and painful story that I won’t go into, but I’ve been reading your blogs because I’ve realized that some day I’ll probably become a stepmom again (considering I’m now separated) and with three kids of my own now, I’ll need to get this stepfamily thing down. Thank you so much.
-Julie
Hi Julie,
I am glad you found the Stepmom’s Toolbox! You may also want to check out my other blog, http://serendipitysmiles.com.
Perhaps you can find a way to heal your relationship with your stepson? I know that both my stepdaughters have continued to have a relationship with their former stepdad (their mom’s second husband) – recognizing where your anger and resentment is coming from is a first step.
xo
Peggy