Awaken With A Grateful Heart

Mar 24, 2011 by Peggy Nolan

I am so pleased to have Heather Hetchler as our guest blogger today! I just love her article and hope you do, too!

The man who forgets to be grateful has fallen asleep in life – Robert Louis Stevenson

At first, this quote made me think that this guy never knew a stepmom. We might get stuck in ungrateful ruts but we certainly are not sleeping. But then I took a step back and reevaluated his words. Stevenson is dead on. When we stop being grateful for what we have and start dwelling on life’s negatives, then we are missing out on life. We are sleeping through the good stuff.

As stepmoms, we have a tough road to walk many days. We deal with ex-spouses, stepkids, our own kids, our in-laws, our out-laws and our spouse’s out-laws, busy schedules, and the list goes on. It is so easy to fall into the trap of thinking about how much we take on each day and how exhausted we may become. But if we truly think about it, we all have much to be grateful for. We just have to open our eyes, ears and hearts to see everything and stop focusing on the negatives.

Do you put on your dark shades when you wake up in the morning or do you look at the day through thankful eyes?

I want to sincerely encourage you to look for the light and the love in each person in your life and in each situation you encounter. As hard as it may be, I ask you to banish anger and bitter thoughts from your mind when toxic words are poured upon you. I know some of you are in very challenging situations and I am not trying to minimize what you are going through. I am trying to give you a different perspective to help you manage through the day. Looking at the day’s events with a thankful heart can be difficult at times but an attitude of gratitude can change your perspective on life and how the events of the day impact you.

It’s important to note that looking at life through thankful eyes does not mean we don’t acknowledge the pain and frustration we are facing. On the contrary, we allow ourselves to feel pain but we don’t allow it to control our day. We grieve our hurts and then we choose to focus on the good stuff that we do have going on in our lives.

In our role as a stepmom, we are the heart of our family and therefore our attitude is reflected in those around us, especially in our partner and children. How great will it make our spouse and children feel if we are consistently a positive force in their lives? What a great gift to give our spouse, our children and ourself. I am a firm believer that the quality of our lives depends on the way we view our lives. That half-full/half-empty theory is really true.

I make a conscious decision everyday to look at my life with gratitude. It didn’t always come easy for me. My stepdaughters have not seen their mom in over five years, by her own choice, and it is very painful for them. When I see the pain manifested in their daily lives and listen to them cry and question their mother’s choices, I have to choose to model positive behavior and be an encouraging force in their lives. I also have to look at the situation with their mom and say thank you for the opportunity to show another person grace because if I didn’t look at it that way, I could get angry.

The root of bitterness can take hold of us when we allow our minds to focus on the negative. I have a choice and I choose to be thankful for what I do have and not focus on the negatives that sometimes come with being a stepmom. Not an easy choice but a necessary one.

Will you choose to look at your life with an attitude of gratitude? Will you focus on the good around you and seek to change, not dwell on, the negative forces in your life? I offer this challenge to you – for the next 5 days, please choose to embrace each day with a positive attitude no matter what is thrown your way. Let me know how it goes.

Heather Hetchler helps StepMoms thrive in their role as the heart of their blended family. She is the Founder of www.CafeSmom.com where she brings positive resources, inspiration, and support to stepmothers. CafeSmom offers the only e-shop with products designed exclusively for the StepMom. As a StepMom Coach, her passion is to help stepmothers define their own positive path to success. Heather is the host of StepMom Connection on www.MomTv.com. She resides in Cleveland with her husband and four children and two stepchildren.

Don’t forget! Heather is our Stepmom in the Spotlight on The Stepmom’s Toolbox Radio Show on Monday, March 28 at 8PM EST!