29 Gifts
I promise I haven’t gone MIA – I’ve been on a small vacation in Ireland – meeting my future son-in-law…but now I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaack!
This morning, as I was getting in touch with my blog community, I watched this video on my friend, SuZen’s blog, “Erasing the Bored.” As I watched this, I realized how important it was to share throughout the stepmom community.
When you’re focused on the negative, the negative feeds upon itself and in your heart. You end up feeding your anger, your resentment, your frustration, and in the author’s case, she fed her disease.
Take a look at the clip…it’s only 4 minutes short…
What would your life look like if you decided to give a gift every day for the next twenty-nine days?
What would your life look like if you stopped feeding the drama of your husband’s ex-wife, your stepkids, your in-laws, your neighbors, your co-workers?
I will be taking on the 29 Gifts in 29 Days Challenge…you can, too. Visit, http://29gifts.org
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I LOVE this! Just like we need training challenges, physically, to meet goals so too we need training challenges to become better people. Thanks!
And, missed you! xo
What a great challenge and I am taking it. It’s so easy to get in the rut of negativity but it feeds on itself and just gets worst. Taking this challenge could totally turn things around for the person and those surrounding them.
I couldn’t agree more! We do need challenges that help us grow emotionally, mentally, intellectually, and spiritually! This one seems to hit on many aspects…becase when we do focus on giving to others and being in service to the greater community, our lives are enriched beyond our wildest dreams!
Hi Jen! I’m so glad you’re up to the challenge!
I too love this challenge! My husband and I have apparently unwittingly put this into practice with his ex-wife and it really works! I am re-married almost 2 years now(and am dilariously happy BTW). My husband’s divorce was quite bitter and his relationship with his ex over the past 6 years continues to be so. Their communication style was, she “creates chaos” he gets angry. I have had very little contact with her except during the skids school events. During those times the ex chose not acknowledge me or my husband. Well, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. A few months ago it dawned on us that trying to “block” the ex’s shannigans was not working. We also realized that the only ones we can change are ourselves. So we changed our tactics. Every time she “acted up” we responded not with anger, but with kindness. We either did something nice for her or something nice for someone else. Now, did that change her behavior? Slightly. Did that change us? You bet! Instead of anger, we actually had “happy hormones” circulating in our systems. We relaxed. The outside chaos became less important. The unexpected consequence of all of this is that my relationship with SD has improved. She has become more relaxed and is interacting with me more. It’s great. I might add that recently when the ex did her “thing”, I actually was able for the first time to understand what she was feeling. Might not have agreed with it, but understood where she was coming from. So, I say, go for it. I would love to hear about others’ experiences.
Ellen,
What an awesome experience you’ve created by simply being nice either to his ex or to someone else! Any time we can circulate our “happy hormones” ( I LOVE THAT!) we’re better off and so are those around us!
I can’t wait to hear other stepmom experiences, too. I really believe that if we can all start focusing on giving, being nice, we’ll create more of those happy hormones!
Awesome!
Peggy
Oh Peggy, this is indeed amazing and it sure works.
Negativity feeds negativity. Since I am not saying anything negative about the kid’s father, they are feeling free to talk to me about him and as a result I can help them to deal with him.
I must be honest, it has been very tempting to enter into the slanging match but once you can stop that and feel honestly giving, it sure changes a lot. I gained an intimacy with my daughters I would not have had otherwise. They would have shut down and my chance to hear that part of their life would have been gone.